Didn't see this comming

Last night I was looking through my clothes to get ready for a plus size yard sale in July and started to panic. Panic to the point of tightness in my chest panic. My mind started racing through scenarios that really got me worried. The main theme seemed to be, what if I didn't get the staples, what if I put the weight back on, what if I fail.

I never thought of clothes as being a safety for me, but I guess so. My rational mind knows that by getting rid of the old I will be able to let go of that person and embrace the future. Maybe it's to soon?

In other news I will be heading to the Dr tomorrow for a stinking shot for this poison ivy that will NOT go away. I cleared up the stuff on my neck and face last week with the pills and now it is back....grrrrrrrr I woke up this morning to an all over itchy feeling throughout my body... I do not heart this at all!

Memorial Weekend

My New update Photo! 32.5 lbs down in this one!

I had a great weekend with friends and family! The down side is that I really need to work on not letting the excitement of the times take me away from my goal. I again was faced with a busy holiday weekend that used to be centered around food. My way of coping was to embrace my inner foodie with a healthy twist! I baked chicken breast, made deviled eggs with low fat may, and wheat Berri salad. I had one egg, and it was GREAT!! the only off my diet indulgence I had was a scoop of sugar free ice cream and I will NOT allow myself to feel guilty about it at all! I walked and boated and had a great time!

hmm Interesting

The past few days my morning protein shake has been upsetting my stomach, so much so that I have only been able to drink about half.

I'm still struggling with getting into a good exercise routine, and really wished I lived near a gym. For me, the structure and routine are very comforting. But, until I am able to move back the city, that is not an option. I still do my walking, but the skin is getting lose and I worry that without some weights to lift I won't be able to tighten it back up.

I am still eating about 1 cup of food per meal, but did find it difficult the other day. Was at a birthday party and found myself mindlessly munching on veggies and dip. I really need to watch that.

32.5 lbs to date!

Monday Update

I suppose this was a weekend of fellowship of sorts, on Saturday we had a birthday party for a friends child. We spent the day talking and visiting with family and friends and just had a general great time!

On Sunday my niece Sarah had her Honor Banquet , I am SOOOO proud of her. She has turned out so well and I love her so much. Of course we all were teary eyed watching her get her awards and listening to her accomplishments. It truly was a wonderful night. And the best part is that we all get along pretty good. Her parents have been divorced for many years, but still both families come together to support our girl. It is a wonderful feeling.I drove home late last night to find the screen and window open, and of course the cat MIA. I called and called for him, he finaly came in soaking wet around midnight. Bad kitty. I love him so, but he really is bad....lol

I'm at work now and not really feeling it. But, it pays the bills!

The weight loss continues slowly now. This week I lost 2.5 lbs I think...

32.5 LBS GONE TO DATE!

Friday!

I am most happy that today is Friday. Work continues to be stressful, to the point that I feel like it isn't worth it anymore and to look for something else. There comes a point where the stress is worse than the money I swear.

On better news, I did my mile walk last night up the huge hill and was able to make it all the way up without stopping!! I would have made it home too, but I took my moms dog with me and he laid down about 3/4 of the way and needed a breather...lol.. But we did it and I felt great! The eating is about the same, I have myself on a nice routine, Shake for breakfast. one cup at lunch and dinner and then a snack later in the evening. It's working and that is what's important!!

The scale hadn't moved in a little over a week and of course I was a bit freaked, but this morning it's moving again and I am most happy!

I'm taking my mom and the dog home this weekend and then spending most of it with my niece who is graduating high school in a few weeks!!

The one draw back I have found with gardening, poison ivy, sumac or whatever I have on me. It itches, and looks odd... oh oh another thing this year.,.. the ticks are really bad. My cat has been bringing them into the house. I have had three on me and one on my mom. Its gross and freaking me out.. The good thing is that the revolution on the cat is working, they are not sticking to him....hmmm.. maybe I need to be dipped....LOL

Ta Ta For Now

31.5 lbs to date!!

How to read a food label..

I found these links pretty helpful, as well as the one in my binder from my Dr!


http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/foodlab.html
http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/Handouts/nutrition_labels/nutrition_labels.html
http://www.healthcare.uiowa.edu/fns/Nutritional/FoodLabel.htm

Monday

It's been a long week for me at work as well as busy with my nieces graduation coming up. I am a bit bummed that when I hit the scale this morning, it didn't move. BUT, I guess no movement is better than gaining! I am pretty much over all this rain, it really puts a kink in my walking and outdoor activities.

Friday night I got a huge ego boost from my friends that I haven't seen since the surgery. It was great to hear how well I am doing, and how good they think I look. As good as it feels when the scale moves, it even better when others notice the difference as well!

Food wise, I am still doing the 1 cup per meal and two 1/2 cup snacks. I find that it is hard when I am away from home, or we are out. I am seriously going to pack my meals to bring with me when I visit family. Routine is very important for me!!!!

Hopefully next Monday I will have a loss to report!

30 lbs to date!

Wednesday

What is on my mind today.. hmmm well work mostly. It has been very stressful this week and if I were a chocolate eating girl these days I would have had A LOT of it. BUT I am not, so last night I walked...lol.. I made it the farthest so far last night. Up and down several hills and across the golf course. It was nice, but boy was I sore... Last night I even had to get out the bengay....LOL.. Now I feel old and sore...!

Tonight I have Yoga and I am really looking forward to that. I need some relaxation and decompression this week. Then I am home to work on more of my second garden bed. I want to plant the pumpkins, zucchini, and sunflowers away from the rest of my veggies. I also need to get some plants for the last part of bed 1. I will then be complete with this little project and feel good about it! Then it is on the the front porch.

I don't have an official weight this week but by my scale:

30 lbs to date

Staples or no Staples

Do I or Don't I.... I have no idea.. At this point all I really DO know is that I can eat 8oz's or 1 cup of food at a meal, and have two small snacks a day. Am I losing weight, YES! Some days I care and some days I don't care. I would like to know just for me, but if it is working, whatever that is, why should I care........... geesh...

I hear about people only being able to eat 2 tbs and I think that is not me, so I don't have them. But if I try to eat more than about a cup I get really full??

This is the one topic everyone avoids because I don't think anyone really wants to figure out they DON'T have them, but I suppose in a year I will know for sure.........

Today is a frustrating day........

I did it!

I walked UP the half mile hill last night and then back down. My legs were very sore, but it was sooo worth it. Tonight I will do it again, and then tomorrow is Yoga!

Yoga

I started my Yoga class last week and can't wait for this week. After working out my body has been pretty sore. My muscles have been screaming at me to stop the insanity, obviously they didn't get the memo about getting healthy.....lol! Yoga is awesome. It felt so good to stretch my muscles and joints, to relax my mind and just be as well as sooth my soul a bit. It is one hour of activity that I truly believe is going to be an intricate part of my path to healthy living!!

In other news, I got my garden started this weekend and can't wait for it to bloom! I am going to have sooo many fresh veggies!!! And pumpkins in the fall....

Life is really good right now.

28.5 lbs to date

What I learned..........

Yesterday I got my food scale in the mail! I took it home and made chicken for dinner as planned, and then I weighed out what I THOUGHT was a 4oz portion. Boy was I wrong.... I was eating WAY less than 4 ounces all this time. I was really surprised how off I was.

Starting last night I have had to re-do my meal plans and look at my protein intake again. I guess I am going to have to buy more protein powder because I am not real sure I can get that much meat in at one setting.

I am eating about 1 cup per meal still and getting in two snacks a day. The nights are the hardest for me, I seem to want to munch A LOT, and have to keep reminding myself that I can't.

I question if I can do this, can I lose this weight? Can I be the person that I want to be. I am trying so hard and seeing results on the scale and how my clothes fit. I know that is a good thing, it's just hard today.